Unobtrusive observation on the word “fuck” with friends and family:
Fuck was often used by the males of the family when expressing disappointment or disregard for authority. It was often used in an informal and casual setting with light emphasis on the word when it came to disappointment and strong emphasis when it came to anger. I noticed early on that the males of the family would curse more with each other than in the presence of females. When with women and girls, they not only changed their speaking tone and mannerisms, they also became quieter in conversation.
The males also demonstrated similar behavior amongst friends. Age was not a dependent factor on using “fuck” as they would use to speak of intercourse, not caring, or showing remorse or disbelief. Examples would include: “I fucking feel so bad for him.” “I fucked her pretty good.” “Fuck yeah buddy.” The last phrase was often used in terms of agreement.
The males when agreeing with each other and desiring to seem more approachable, relatable, and easy going, would use “fuck” to express their comfort levels and nonchalant-less on the subject matter. Furthermore, they would express their feelings more heavily with “fuck” than with ordinary words that would typically replace “fuck” such as “heck,” “hell,” “really,” and “had sex.” When using informal speech, “fuck” seemed to be heavily emphasized to show connection and comfort. This was also the same but to a lesser extent with females.
The females of the family said “fuck” only when very upset or being sarcastic. Some examples would include: “Who fucking cares?,” “She’s such a fucking loser.,” “Fuck!” They were also more complex in how they used fuck as it relates to their speech. With the males, they used fuck to relate a direct feeling or action. With females it was more about declaring the opposite or supporting or emphasizing an opinion.
The same can be said with the female friends. The females when using fuck were more trying to please and support the other female than actually relay any sort of comfort or connection. Both the females in the group of friends and family rarely said “fuck” in front of the males, even when provoked to anger. It seems the word “fuck” is still a bit taboo within society and especially amongst unisex groups. Male and female groups are too preoccupied with publically appearing a certain way that they do not use “fuck” unless they are very comfortable with each other.
That brings up the final observation. The mixed group of both males and females showed reduced signs of the use of the word “fuck.” The only occasions where it was used was when either person had little to no respect for the other person at the time or were trying very hard to connect, relate, or support. Two examples are as follows: mother was angry at father and proceeded to say “Fuck you.” To him in a brief fit of anger. During a football game, one of the female friends wanted to hang out with the guys and repeatedly tried to use “fuck” to seem like one of the guys.
Obtrusive observation on the word “fuck” with friends and family:
The observations in this section pertained to questions I asked whilst examining the various friends and family. I split them in sections with friends being in 3 groups: males, females, males and females, and doing the same for the family. They all showed interesting results, demonstrating more in depth why people use the word “fuck.” To start off with, I examined the male family group.
The male family group was asked 2 questions which were then asked to all the other groups. The two questions were: “Why do you like to use the word ‘fuck’?” “Does it feel good when saying ‘fuck’?” The males then answered simply that when they do not feel completely at ease in a social situation, they will use the word “fuck.” They will also use if they do not have the right word to express what they are thinking or feeling.
They stated that everyone used the word so why not use it to. When asked why it is not used as much among the opposite gender, they state it makes them look less civilized. The answers were very similar with the male friends with heavier emphasis on attempting to find comfort in social situations through the use of “fuck.” “Fuck” seemed to relay to their peers and others of the same gender that they are okay to talk to.
The females were asked the same questions in regards to their use of the word “fuck” and their answers were similar to the behavior observed in the unobtrusive observation. The females in the family wanted to support, feel support, and be supported by the females within the family. They also wanted to emphasize their feelings or thoughts through the use of the word “fuck.” It was as if was the exclamation point to any sentence they stated said one of the female family members. It also denotes for them the ability to easily provide social bonding through something they view as common and casual.
The female friends, much like the male friends, relied heavily on “fuck” amongst their same sex friends in order to establish trust and support. They knew that if they wanted to have a person agree with them or trust them, that using the word “fuck” would quickly gain them acceptance. When asked why it is not used often in unisex groups and why one of the females was using during the football game, they simply replied: “It’s not lady like to curse.” The female friend stated her use of “fuck” was to make her seem like one of the guys since males are perceived as having more allowance to curse more so than females.
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